Pappa wants mamma naked
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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