More tranny stories later!
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
