This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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