Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
