Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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