Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Farmville is her only friend.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So much rum. So many feels.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
