dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
