You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
