Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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