I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
