Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
