I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
