Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
