Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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