I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
try to milk me bitch
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