I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
