Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
