U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
