I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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