but the lizard people decide everything anyway
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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