Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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