that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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