Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
