The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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