He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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