just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
