literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
