The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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