Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
