We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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