Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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