How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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