Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
