I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
