just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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