Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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