your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
