I want to stick my p in your. b.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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