Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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