Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize