Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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