Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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