Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I have feelings that need drinking.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
