He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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