i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
