He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
