my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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