im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize