I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
