I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize