Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
