Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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