no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
