I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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