Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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