so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
