its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
