Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My liver just had a heart attack.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
