some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
