my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
