i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
