Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
