no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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