So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
