How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
