super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I need to wash the frat house off of me
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
