ya dads aren't the best wingmen
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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