Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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