god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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