Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
