Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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