I want to make a zoo with you.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
